big easy bachelorette

I love traveling with my friends, so planning my bachelorette party somewhere amazing was crucial. I wanted to go somewhere with great food, amazing nightlife, history and culture, and a place I had never visited. Enter, New Orleans, Louisiana. Hearing mixed reviews of The City That Care Forgot, I was a little hesitant because I’m not the biggest drinker (contrary to what this post will have you believe); however, it turned out to be one of my favorite cities that I can’t wait to return to! I’m a complete control freak, and wanted all of my guests to have a relaxing time (after all, they were taking an entire long weekend to come celebrate me finally getting married), so I overplanned everything we did…besides being worn out and oddly swollen, it let us see most of what New Orleans had to offer.

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Day 1: Garden District & Frenchman Street

We rented a gorgeous albeit totally haunted mansion on Magazine Street and promptly went to binge on tacos and Walmart. The waitress told us it was in a shady area and we should link arms, but BITCH we from da north (it was a lovely leisurely stroll).

After everyone arrived we trekked to dinner on St Charles Avenue; fair warning, everything in New Orleans is double the estimated walking distance…but that also might have been a side effect of the dranks. The Garden District is a little ways outside the French Quarter, and full of shopping, eateries and gorgeous architecture. We continued the night on the less crowded but equally as fun Frenchman Street, but due to all the aforementioned drinks I can’t explain all that happened.

Also, we found out Beyoncé lived down the street and Jordan and I spent all night watching her videos and saying how beautiful she is.

Day 2: Gator Tour and French Quarter Day

We all donned our best safari gear for a swamp cruise provided by Cajun Swamp Encounters. If you’re staying in the city, take the bus they provide because otherwise you will encounter some wacky Uber drivers who give you shit for not taking the bus for the hour long ride. We saw some highly trained gators, along with swamp hogs and an up and coming swamphood.

Exhausted yet still persevering, we ventured on our Historic Cocktail Tour with Dr. Gumbo. Ben Wise took us to 4 New Orleans staple bars (Tiki Tolteca, SoBou, Tujague’s and Bourbon O Bar), and taught us about the history of brunch, sugardaddies and all things alcoholic. The tour ends directly next to a grenade stand, so we spent the night Cupid Shuffling in the street and eating beignets.

Day 3: NOLA Brew Bus Tour

The brewery scene in NOLA is relatively new, as everyone just gets drunk AF off liquor, but the owner of the NOLA Brew Bus helps you discover the amazing fresh brew pubs in the city: Wayward Owl, a concerted movie theater, Urban South, with the best and cutest beer I’ve ever had, and NOLA Brewing, with an in house BBQ restaurant and al fresco dining. Just know that they DO NOT provide their dive bar tour advertised on the side of the bus, he was tre sensitive about that….Charlene gave him her resume, and we told him about our experience gentrifying the swamp, with future plans for a swamp-to-table restaurant.  We asked him if we were his favorite tour and he hesitated, then said, “Well you were certainly the easiest,” which is saying a lot for us, so I’ll take the compliment.

Day 4: Spa Day

After 3 days of drinking, touring and walking double the distance we intended to, we were all in need of some people to rub our bodies and tell us we were pretty, so we headed to The Woodhouse Day Spa for massages and facials. The girl came in to prepare our bottle of wine (to which we all responded “ughhhhhhh…”), and to remind us we needed to be quiet to maintain the atmosphere (as we immediately lie on the couches and started snoring.). The staff was super accommodating and we each re-emerged into the room with newfound spiritual satisfaction.

Instead of raging, we retreated to our individual rooms with take out and watched true crime docuseries, wondering who the ghost would attack next.

Day 5: End of Trip Exploring

My two (bee-yotch…just kidding, but srsly…) bridesmaids decided to get pregnant before this trip, so we decided to take them on an adventure to the French Quarter.

They went to the Audubon Center and played with butterflies, had a classy drink at the Carousel Bar, and of course finished up with grenades against their better judgement.  I also went to a random psychic who told me I’m too nice and a people pleaser, that Kellie is a Gemini and Sally is a freak (accurate on all counts).

We had a classy dinner at Atchafalya, rode the streetcar and ended up at a dive bar down the street called Saint.  Really, who could ask for a better end to a bachelorette long weekend?

Then I went home to watch Beyoncé videos in bed, cried about how great the trip was, and praised be that there was not once the teeniest speck of drama amongst my amazing friends from such different parts of my life.  We survived the worst turbulence ever on the way home, while everyone on the plane panicked that we were the people in the exit row designated to save them.IMG_6234

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