mother knows best

When I was teaching preschool, I asked my kids what our moms do for us.  Their responses were cute, funny, heartfelt and true.   Our moms are often the most important people in our lives, and even if they’re not with us physically they still influence us daily.  Here are some of my all time favorite moms:

Kris Jenner (hold your judgement)         Yea, yea I know she’s the devil incarnate, etc.  but no one can deny she’s a powerful matriarch with a mind for business.  Everyone knows I love the Kardashians for the vapid soul suckers they are, and IDGAF.  I have to admire KJ’s ability to turn her dysfunctional family into a billion dollar market.  With the exception of Rob (…seriously Rob, wtf is going on?), all of the Kdash/Jenners have a pretty awesome life, mostly thanks to Kris’s ruthless momaging (and my purchasing of all their products).  Those Christmas cards?  You know Kris is behind it all, and does anyone know how I get one?  Plus, I’m pretty sure she hooked up with Diddy at some point, and hello, isn’t that what anyone wants in a mom?

Patricia Altschul  Southern Charm quickly became a favorite reality show of mine, and Patricia immediately inspired me to wear caftans and drink martinis.  She’s so classy, and has the best one-liners that accurately judge all of the other cast members in a perfectly Southern way.  On top of all that, she gives her dogs acupuncture and cats dialysis.  I wonder if she’s ashamed of her son Whitney for being a 45 year old d-bag with a pretentious vocabulary, or proud.  I’m guessing a little of both.  Patricia, thoughts? 

Hester Prynne         Ok, if you don’t know who this is go read The Scarlet Letter ASAP and then get back to me.  Hester Prynne was, to say the least, surrounded by a-holes.  Her baby daddy and ex husband completely let the whole town persecute and brand her.  And their names were so obbbbbvious Hester–Dimmesdale  and Chillingsworth!  But she teaches her daughter Pearl about pride rather than shame and ends up living a relatively peaceful life for at least a little while.  It’s kind of like the original Teen Mom…except that they both die in the end forever remembered as adulterers…but yea, the same!

Fran Fine            I. Love. The Nanny.  Everyone says “Ugh, that voice…how can you stand it?!?”  I don’t even notice!  I used to watch The Nanny every night, and then it came to Nick at Nite, and then Netflix and Hulu were invented!  She always had the most inappropriate outfits that were just tacky enough but still elegant-ish.  She accidentally stumbles into a struggling family (side note: HOW DID THE MOM DIE?!?) and not only sells them makeup, but teaches them to laugh again. Unfortunately Mr. Sheffield ended up being a rapist on Law and Order: SVU but I’m sure they had a few good years leading up to that.

Sally Mullin  My mom was one of the strongest people I ever knew. She taught me emotional fortitude, humility, creativity and how to be a survivor.  She would be really pissed right now to be included in a list with Kris Jenner.  Growing up, I thought we would never reach a point where we would actually get along, but looking back on it, the lessons she taught me shaped the person I am today.  I cried “UNFAIR” when she told me to get a job at 14 to pay for a cell phone, but have learned to work hard for everything in my life.  I never understood why she spent all day and evening taking care of everything out in the yard and inside , and now I see just how much it takes to keep a house in shape.  She would reprimand me on my lack of focus in school, and now I am graduating with my Master’s with a 4.0.  When my mom became ill, we still had ups and downs as mothers and daughters do, but out of a tragedy I learned compassion, patience and empathy for others.  I am a better person for having a mom like her and know that she looks down on me smiling (most of the time)… Thank you Mom for everything you ever did for me👼🏼💕 Happy Mother’s Day!  

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