Day 1: Admit it, we all loved that day in computer class when you were finally allowed to play Oregon Trail, even though your oxen drowned in the river, Indians raided your food supply and your family died of horrible diseases and you had to leave them behind.  Our trek through the Columbia River Gorge began after a scenic drive down from Seattle.  My friend Jordan was very excited to hear the news.  A) I’m so glad someone’s reading my blog B) Jordan, can you please explain to me why you think there would be feather boa hats on the Oregon Trail?!? and C) What is a feather boa hat?

We drove along the scenic trail chasing waterfalls, each more majestic than the last.   At the first one, Craig thought he was really brave for going close to it. Then another guy came and literally jumped right under the falls and took a shower.  Notice Craig’s disappointment.   (In order: Latourell Falls, Bridal Veil Falls, Multnomah Falls).     Jordan’s reaction (notice she still never answers about the feather boa hats):  We continued our way through the gorgeous Gorge gawking at the scenery.  Whenever I visit the west, I’m in awe of the rock formations and just how huge they are.  West Coast- 1, East Coast- 0.  And to my delight, I found a sign that actually said “Oregon Trail”!  We ended at the foot of Mount Hood, which is massive and terrifying and also it snows there.  The innkeeper suggested we go to a place called Charlie’s up the road, but the Yelp reviews described it as being full of “surly locals who won’t take a lick of sass from any city folk,” and the bartender as a “living monster.”  Luckily a place across the road, Ratskellar, was open and empty and this cool guy was very accommodating.  (Side note: those chicken fingers were bangin).  Day 2:  There was a mini snow storm at Mount Hood, which allowed for some amazing Insta pix: We started our drive to the Oregon coast (I told you we were on the trail!) to see the Cape Meares lighthouse.  Going along with the theme of our trip, it was closed due to mudslides, which I never knew were anything but a delicious drink.  We found some amazing lookout points in Tillamook and a few other stops on our way to the Goonies house though.       Arrived in Cannon Beach to check out Haystack Rock, which is also massive.   I taught a fictional book recently about a tsunami that hits a town based on Cannon Beach, and when I told my students I was going there they were really concerned for my well-being. Except the kid that hates me.  He told me he still hates me.

We went to the Goonies house, and now I really need to see the movie.  I know, I’m un-American, but I’ll put it on the queue.  My friend Steve posted “GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!” and everyone was really excited and freaked out.  My friend Jena pointed out that they do say mazel.  Drove into Portland and spent the night watching Bruce Jenner’s transition interview.  I was in tears. You go Bruce!!!!

Day 3: Got morning (aka noon) coffee at Stumptown, which is like the biggest coffee shop I’ve ever been in.  I read baristas basically have a Master’s degree in coffee.  I also saw a Steve lookalike. Perused the Saturday Market, which is something we lack on the east coast.  I want an outdoor market!  Got lunch at the food truck central.  Another thing we lack.  What am I up to, WC-4, EC-0?  The grilled cheese truck even offered soup!  Met up with my college friend Bobby Awesome who gave us a mini tour of Portland and showed us around Powell’s which was a wet dream for my English teacher self.  We tried to go to the International Rose Test Garden, but of course the bus was closed.  Who would ever want to visit a tourist spot on the weekend?!?!  I give up…  Fine, WC-4, EC-1

Instead we got dinner and beers, and some late night Voodoo Doughnuts, and these hilarious underwear. I’m so sad our adventure ends tomorrow, and we go back to Delaware and real life.  At least everything on our side is 24 hours since we’re all workaholics…  But this has been the greatest experience, and I’ll definitely be back.  Keep on keepin on PNW!